


Malapert

by eva_cybele



Category: Final Fantasy IX
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 19:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1699667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eva_cybele/pseuds/eva_cybele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malapert - Clever in manners of speech.</p><p>written for a prompt meme on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Malapert

For once, they had managed to sneak out of the castle with no one noticing. Steiner and Beatrix had both come down with a summer cold that was sweeping the castle, and it was easy for Dagger claim illness as well, convincing one of her dark-haired handmaidens to trade places with her for the day.

As it turned out, it was getting back in to the palace that was the ordeal. 

Dagger giggled and leaned somewhat unsteadily on Zidane’s arm. “This is fun. Isn’t this fun? I  _never_  get to have this much fun when you’re not around.”

"Hey, we’re supposed to be being quiet, remember?" he murmured in her ear. "I besides, I think I might have let you have a little bit too much fun. I’m still shocked we made it across the moat without you tipping the boat over."

Dagger clapped her free hand over her mouth and shot Zidane a very serious look, as if to tell him that she was a  _queen_  and thus clearly the responsible one in this relationship. It was somewhat spoiled by the fact that he could clearly hear her giggling behind her hand, and the one that had been wrapped around his arm had somehow migrated across his back and to the base of his tail, and, ooh, wait —

"Hey, hey, hey, while I’m definitely all for that, let’s wait until we’re not at risk of getting caught by one of your legions of very well-trained castle guards, okay?"

As if those words had summoned him like an eidolon, an armored man stepped out of the shadows and yelled for them to halt.

 _Knight of Pluto. Shit._  Zidane shot a quick glance at his still-giggling girlfriend and sighed. The easy thing to do here would be to identify himself and Dagger, and they’d be escorted into the castle…and straight to Rusty. And there was no way in hell Zidane was listening to an hours-long lecture about propriety and how it was so not okay to kidnap the queen and get her drunk in houses of dubious repute. Especially if it loosened her inhibitions enough that she felt comfortable groping her dashing rogue of a boyfriend in public. 

Option two was to bullshit his way past the guard, and since that was the only option that might end with him in bed with the most beautiful, amazing, hilariously-intoxicated woman on four continents, that was clearly the only choice to be made. 

"State your name and your business here!"

The man was unfamiliar, thank Alexander. Blutzen or Kohel would have known him on sight, but this one must have been a replacement for one of the men who left service after the war. 

Zidane put on his most winning smile, dropping his lowborn accent in exchange for that of a Treno nobleman. “My name is Marcus, and I happened to find one of Her Majesty’s handmaidens being accosted outside a tavern earlier, and I swore to the lady that I’d bring her back and see her safely delivered to the queen. She was quite shaken by the experience, poor thing.”

Dagger’s giggles sounded like they could have been sobs, if that’s what you were expecting, and the hand over her mouth certainly helped. 

The knight’s eyes widened and he snapped sharply to attention. “Oh! Thank you for your aid, sir. Miss, I would be happy to take you to the queen’s chambers, so this gentleman can go on his way.” 

The pressure on Zidane’s arm increased, and he felt Dagger press her face into his arm, still shaking with laughter. The hand that had been over her mouth looped itself around his arm, and her other wandered back down over his tail, stroking in a way that made him bite back a groan.  _Dammit, woman_. 

"I, ah, I promised that I would escort the young lady personally. She was quite adamant that I not leave her side until she was safely ensconced among her fellow handmaidens. If you will perhaps show me the way, I’d be grateful."

The young knight saluted and turned smartly, navigating his way through the twisting corridors of Alexandria castle with a decided lack of skill — three times they hit a dead-end and had to backtrack, but it wasn’t like Zidane could argue with the man’s sense of direction, having supposedly never visited the castle before, and with Dagger entirely unhelpfully focused on certain parts of his anatomy. Not that he wasn’t enjoying it, it was just difficult to keep up his accent, weave a convincing backstory, and maintain a light banter with the guard that kept him from noticing how touchy-feely the poor accosted handmaiden had gotten with her rescuer. Good thing the kid wouldn’t shut up, so Zidane didn’t really need to say much to keep the conversation going.

Finally they arrived at the wing reserved for the queen and her ladies, and Zidane extricated himself from Dagger’s arms just in time for the guard to turn and proclaim that they had arrived. Dagger sank into a deep curtsy that didn’t wobble in the slightest — it figured, she couldn’t walk but she could still curtsy, royals were so damn weird sometimes — and murmured a soft, convincing “thank you, sirs,” and teetered off to a nearby side chamber, leaving Zidane alone with the young knight.

"Normally I’d introduce you to my Captain, so he could officially commend you for your good deeds, but unfortunately Captain Steiner has taken ill."

Zidane waved a hand. “No need. I was just doing my duty as a gentleman, that’s all. I have a room for the night in the city, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”  _Gotta ditch this guy, and quick._

The young man brightened. “Please, allow me to show you the way!” He eventually headed off in a direction that Zidane knew to be completely wrong, and it was child’s play to slip around a corner and head back the way he’d come while the knight chattered to thin air and got himself incredibly lost.

By the time Zidane made it back to Dagger’s chamber, she had expelled all of her actual handmaidens, and was seated at her vanity, brushing out her hair. 

"That poor man is going to be in so much trouble when Steiner finds out that he didn’t recognize me." She smiled at him as he came in, calmer than her earlier infectious grins. 

Zidane raised his hands palm-up in a shrug. “Wouldn’t want to be there for that lecture, that’s for sure. Seriously, though, what castle guard doesn’t know what his queen looks like? He kinda deserves it, if you ask me.”

Dagger tilted her head, acknowledging his point, and rose with most of her normal queenly grace. 

"You look a little steadier than you did earlier."

She padded over to him and wound her arms around his neck, pressing her hips against his in a way that immediately reminded his body of what she’d been up to in the corridors. “Disappointed?”

"With you?  _Never_.”

She kissed him, and he could taste wine and feel every soft curve of her body along the length of his own. She kissed him until he felt nearly as drunk as she’d been earlier. When she pulled away, he had to hold on to steady himself, and there was a certain amount of possessive pride shining out of her dark eyes. Garnet had to be a queen, proper and poised, but Dagger could go out and get drunk and mercilessly tease her boyfriend all she wanted. 

Dagger slipped out of his arms and turned, lifting her hair so that he could unlace her borrowed gown. “What on Gaia are you going to do when you can’t talk your way out of something?”

Zidane slid a hand along her waist and pressed a kiss against the side of her neck. “Hope that you’re there to get me out of trouble, I guess.”

She relaxed back into his arms and sighed, and they didn’t speak again until the morning when Steiner burst in on them in bed together, clammy-skinned and yelling in a nasal voice, with a very sheepish Knight of Pluto in tow. 

The lecture was worse than the cold they both came down with the next day.


End file.
